PiGGs
In a romantic development nobody requested, Lover Boar has confirmed that he wrote exactly 400 love letters to a single acorn. The letters were delivered in bundles of twenty, each tied with a ribbon and accompanied by a dramatic sigh.
“It is not about quantity,” Lover Boar told The Daily Oink. “It is about sincerity.” Asked why he needed 400 letters to express sincerity, he replied, “I had a lot of stationery.”
The acorn, which remains firmly attached to its branch, has not responded. Witnesses say Lover Boar interpreted the silence as “mysterious and promising.” The King described the situation as “deeply exhausting” and suggested a nap.
Acorn Lord has issued a formal statement requesting that the acorn be transferred to his personal pantry. Lover Boar called the request “an outrage against poetry.” Negotiations broke down when Acorn Lord asked whether poetry could be served with salt.
PiGGs has offered to mediate. His advice to Lover Boar was simple: “Follow your heart, but please stop mailing the entire forest.” The 401st letter has reportedly already been drafted.