PiGGs
Acorn Lord has opened the dehesa’s first all-you-can-oink restaurant, featuring a tasting menu made entirely from acorns. The grand opening attracted all five official members of the herd and one very confused rabbit.
The menu includes acorn soup, roasted acorns, acorn crumble, deconstructed acorn, and a signature dish called “An Acorn, But Bigger.” Critics praised the commitment to the concept while questioning whether the kitchen had access to any other ingredients.
Chef duties were briefly offered to PiGGs, who declined after reading the words “jamón special” on an early draft of the menu. “Absolutely not,” he announced. “I am a breeding boar, not a sandwich ingredient. Remove that immediately.” The offending item was replaced with “Legendary Acorn Surprise.”
Space Boar asked for his meal to be freeze-dried for a future mission. Lover Boar requested a heart-shaped acorn. Punk Pig wanted the loudest possible crunch. The King asked whether he could eat while napping.
By closing time, Acorn Lord had eaten most of the stock himself. The restaurant received five stars from its owner and a polite request from the local oak trees to consider a more sustainable business model.